Bachelorette China
A Bachelorette
Vocabulary
| pass (2) | match (2) | meet/met/met |
| respect | sense (2) | relationship (2) |
| look (2) | market (2) | straightforward (2) |
| support | push (2) | good/better/best |
| fool (2) | pretty (2) | think/thought/thought (2) |
| policy | try/tried | get/got/got-gotten |
| crucial | standards | child/children |
| date (2) | treat (2) | see/saw/seen |
| despite | multiple | remain (2) |
| inferior | superior | pressure (2) |
| degree | equal (2) | position (2) |
| look for | hard (2) | interest (3) |
| county | fall in love | get married |
| instead | kind (2) | fall/fell/fallen |
| go back | common | development |
| advice | carry on | chauvinistic |
| vary | degree (3) | traditional |
| hope | research | give advice |
| need to | dominant | give/gave/given |
| honest | alone (2) | make/made/made |
| tall | heavy (2) | strong/stronger/strongest |
| kiss | short (2) | say/said/said |
| still (2) | consider | find/found/found |
| law | decision | worry/worried |
| status | stability | know/knew/known |
| dumb | kind of (2) | make/made/made |
| decide | as a result | social status |
| rare | whatever | sleep/slept/slept |
| imagine | right (5) | all the time |
| sick (2) | issue (3) | bring/brought/brought |
| forever | mind (2) | comfortable |
| care (2) | grow up | see/saw/seen |
| bullshit | tiring (2) | grow/grew/grown (2) |
Video
Transcript
Matchmaker: “What kind of man would be a good match for you?”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I have high standards. For example, he must be well educated. Most importantly, he must respect women.”
Matchmaker: “Have you ever been in a relationship?
Twice?
Sorry if I’m being straightforward, but you’re not beautiful in the traditional sense. I don’t mean you’re not pretty, I mean you’re not a beauty. Also, you’re really old.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I’m old? I think I’m at a good age.”
Matchmaker: “Do you think you’re at the right age for he marriage market? Please don’t think you’re in a good position. You might think you look young, but you are fooling yourself.”
In China, as a result of the one-child policy, there are millions more men than women.
The government, seeing the family as crucial for social stability, pressures women to get married.
Subway Poster: “Today, you are going to marry me!”
Women who are still single at 27 or older are labeled “Leftover Women”.
Zhang Xu, Date: “You are Huamei?”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Yes.”
Zhang Xu, Date: “I’m Zhang Xu.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Hi. Nice to meet you.”
Zhang Xu, Date: “You look better than in your photo.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Thank you.”
Zhang Xu, Single Man: “Your coffee.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Thank you.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman:
My parents always wanted a son. So despite the one-child policy, they still kept trying and had multiple kids.
In our village, people treat girls as inferior to boys.
So my parents pushed me to get a good education. For them, a girl with a degree equals a boy.
I studied hard and became a lawyer.
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “What kind of girl are you looking for?”
Potential Boyfriend: “At my age, I’ve passed the age of falling in love.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “You’ve passed the age of romantic relationships. Instead of falling in love, you want to get married?”
Potential Boyfriend: Nods.
Potential Husband: “Where were you born?”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Wudi, Bing Zhou.”
Potential Husband: “I’m from the county town.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Really? So we could go home together on holidays!”
Potential Husband: “Right. Since college, I’ve never thought of going back; it’s such a small town. There’s no development.
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “People in Shandong are traditional; male chauvinism is very common. I know it — my family is like that. After you get married, will you carry on that tradition?”
Potential Husband: “I think, like you said, every man in Shandong is a male chauvinist. But they vary in degrees. In my marriage, I’m hoping to be dominant.
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Dominant?”
Potential Husband: “For example, I research about cell phones and TV. As a woman, you don’t need to give advice; just tell me what you need. I’ll make the decision. I don’t want my wife to be stronger than me — suddenly making decisions alone.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman to Niece: “Let me see how heavy you are. How did you get so tall? Look at grandpa. Say ‘grandpa’! Kiss.”
Mother: “Have you found Mr. Right yet?”
Father: “You should consider getting married. You should start to consider your future. Honestly, I’m very worried.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “Are you?”
Father: “The law says people should get married in their 20s. You’re in your 30s and still not married. When people ask me about you, I don’t know what to say.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I can date someone, but I don’t want to get married.”
Aunt: “All that schooling makes you dumb. It made her dumb. You’re highly educated and you don’t want someone with a low social status.
Father: “The ones with a high social status wouldn’t show interest in you.
Sister: “Since you have a steady job, you should consider getting married.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I did consider it — and I’ve decided to remain single.”
Grandmother: “You don’t care. You only do whatever you want.
Sister: “Dad and mom never worry about me or the others. You’re the only one they worry about.”
Father: “Why are you doing this? You listened to me when you were a kid at school. Now you don’t. I gave you whatever you wanted. I rarely slept. I worked in the water, in the mud. For what? To support you.”
Sister: “How will your life look when you are 35 to 45 years old? Imagine being 45 to 55. Our other sisters and I worry about you all the time. When you get sick or have issues, who can you call?
It’s tiring to start a family, but who doesn’t want to have one? Who has a comfortable life after marriage?”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I’m not saying I want to stay single forever. But I don’t really mind it.
Sister: “You don’t care.”
Qiu Huamei, Single Woman: “I don’t care, of course I don’t care. I simply don’t want to get married, but you keep worrying about it. You say seeing your child growing up makes you happy.
It’s bullshit!
After all, I don’t bring you any happiness, do I?
Questions
Fiance, Fiancee. In the beginning of the video, Qui Huamei was probably speaking to her friend. What do you think?
Wife, Husband. By “high-standards”, does she want a tall, rich and successful husband?
Mother, Father. Was the counselor or advisor supportive and encouraging, or blunt, realistic and discouraging?
Daughter, Son. In China, there is a demographic imbalance or anomaly. Is this right or wrong? At least in cities, do parents arrange their children’s marriages?
Sister, Brother. Traditionally, do Chinese parents prefer to have girls or boys?
Step-Mother, Step-Father. Did Huamei’s parents want her to get married at 18 and become a farm-wife or farmer’s wife?
Step-Sister, Step-Brother. All Chinese men in their late 20s and above are primarily interested in marrying young, beautiful, sexy women. Is this right or wrong?
Half-Sister, Half-Brother. All parts of China are modern, progressive and liberal in terms of relationships. Is this correct or incorrect? Are all Chinese (men) progressive and liberal in their outlook with regards to families?
Aunt, Uncle. Were Huamei’s family and relatives concerned about her finances, work and accommodation? Were they supportive and encouraging?
Niece, Nephew. Does she agree with her family members?
Cousin. What do you think Huamei should do? What advice would you give her?
Sister-in-law, Brother-in-Law. How do people in your country get married?
Mother-in-law, Father-in-law. Are parents completely open and accepting of their children’s educational, career and marital status?
Son-in-law, Daughter-in-law. What is the social and demographic situation in your country? Has it been changing over the years and generations?
Grandparents, Grandmother, Grandfather. What might happen in the future?
Grandchildren, Grandson, Granddaughter. What can or should families and individuals do?
